Leaves

The leaves silently clung to trees

I woke up with a cold shiver, with a lump of heaviness on my left forehead like an ovarian cyst, thick and bulbous, my mouth was full of yellow bile, gelatinous, sticking to my tongue like dye to tanned leather, an orgasm of nausea engulfed my body, rising up from deep inside, lingering in the pit of my throat, like coiled snakes on Medusas head, I wanted to defecate, I wanted to drink a bottle of lukewarm saline water so i could cleanse my rotting innards, drink and purge.

I vomited twice, first, just water, while i kept fingering my navel as if to exorcise the daemons wrangled inside my stomach,  the putrid taste stuck to my mouth, i tried rinsing its acidic betrayal which made my teeth brittle, i tried regurgitating my bowels, my intestines, i wanted it all out, all the blood, bile and gore, all the horror of the night. A vomited a third time, it was thick bile, yellow and putrid, it fell into the W/C,  drowning slowly into the watery grave, leaving a trail, i flushed it before the image could get ensconced in my memory, i wanted to erase the night itself.

I lay in bed, a cold shiver, sweat breaking up on my forehead, a chilly spine, my hands searched feverishly for a sheet to cover myself while my eyes were delirious, too weak to open. I felt better in the afternoon, I waited for dusk, I waited for the dark hour before the street lights came on so I could walk on my balcony, alone, unnoticed, unwatched, but watching, become only eyes, sans my body, to draw in every whim of the evening, the teenage girl teasing the boy who listens to KoRn, the girl in her skirt, an invitation into the abyss , disembodied from the rest of her.

where can I buy one without the need for mutual acceptance and the grotesque pleasentries?

 I wanted to look west the yon,  the vast bleeding colours of a dream which was the sun,  it blushed a shameless want in ovulating red. I saw the sad silhoutte of the trees, their leaves like spines sprung out from everywhere, a repeating geometry, they clung to trees like pathetic lovers who seek to hinge themselves on people permanently, a cold mathematical equation they spread all across the branches, an algorithm, the logic of a soap opera, behind the gloss of the leaves, the velvet of the flowers, there was an equation, a dull classroom with walls bleeding from the rainwater and a teacher teaching fourier transforms.

There was silence, the leaves swayed in the gentle breeze of the evening, a beautiful disguise, a veiled romance, a gimmick. I walked over to the money plant on my balcony, I let my fingers gently caress the shiny gloss of the leaves, the taut youthful skin of pubescence trembled in my palms, I plucked out one large leaf, and bit into it, it was bitter, it bled and died, I flung it down, it fell helicoptering, twisting and turning on two axes, saving energy and momentum, the ground swallowed it, it was gone.

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Published in: on September 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm  Comments (1)